My relationship with FOOD

I have had an interesting relationship with food. As I'm sure most girls and women have also experienced. In our culture and society much is said about food. There are fad diets, eating disorders, healthy/not healthy, organic, trans fat, vegan, vegetarian, paleo...really the list goes on. Eating and food in our society is also linked to weight and health. As it should be, but sometimes it is portrayed in unhelpful ways. Like saying, 'this celebrity is skinny because she doesn't eat anything'. As a young person today, you can quickly get carried away with what society and pop culture is deeming the current fad, 'healthy', and what diet is best for you.

As a young woman in high school, college, and beyond, I tried it all. Most of it I tried out of curiosity, like bulimia. I learned about it in 9th grade health class and figured, hey that could be interesting! Why not binge on all the foods that taste awesome and then puke it up? So I gave it a go. I wasn't used to eating huge amounts of food, so my binge was not much of a binge before I was full. Then of course, I was so full that puking seemed like too big an effort, I just wanted a nap. When I put my finger down my throat (in a very mild attempt) it made me gag, but nothing else. So that was it, I decided that I could never make myself puke because it just wasn't that easy. On to the next thing I figured!

I was a skinny mini in high school, so it wasn't like I needed or even wanted to lose weight. For me it was all about curiosity and experiencing the things I heard other girls talking about in the bathroom. Way to be a doe-eyed innocent teenager, eh!

I tried laxatives...gross, pooping water was not for me. And finally found my way to anorexia. I could never understand why someone would actually want to give up food completely, especially when there were things like chocolate ice-cream to be eating! But I gave it a go out of curiosity. I had a friend tell me that the longer she went without eating, the easier it became. Wow! I figured, hey how hard could it be?! It was hard to start, let me tell you. Turning down a bowl of ice-cream from my dad was where it all started and that was torture. I was determined to try it though! Just as my friend had said, the less I ate, the easier it became to not eat. I was surprised at how quickly I could give up food and not care about it. I think it was the realization that I could easily become anorexic, that shocked me back into reality. I quickly realized, whoa, this could become a serious issue if I don't stop now. So I stopped, and went back to eating ice-cream!

Through college and after college I was less fascinated with eating disorders, and more interested in fad diets. Once again, I tried it all. I also gained some weight in college, freshman 15 (or 10, for me). One summer home from college a friends mom remarked, "wow, you have woman hips now". That was a shock to me! I was used to being a skinny mini with no curves. So I gave my lady lumps a good look in the mirror, and decided to try weight watchers with a roomate who was already doing it. I followed the program to a T and lost 10 pounds that summer.

After that, it was all about Atkins, Mediterranean diet, South Beach...etc. They say not to yo-yo diet, but I was the queen of yo-yo dieting. Once again, it was mostly about curiosity more than anything. After losing the freshman 10 that I had put on, I knew I could easily lose weight if I wanted to, so it wasn't about losing weight, it was more a fascination with food and limitations.

Since then, things have calmed down significantly with my curiosity of fad diets. Not to say that I don't still get curious, but being married has made it more difficult to try those things. Especially since Andy will eat anything, and loves to stash ramen noodles in the cabinet. (It is hard to turn down a steaming bowl of ramen, especially when someone is slurping it up right in front of you!)

The subject of food came to mind today because Andy just sent me a link to a new fad diet called VB6. It stands for 'Vegan Before 6pm', ridiculous right! He said it made him think of me. Yes, he knows me all too well and my love for the latest fad diet. When it comes down to it though, none of these 'diets' have ever stuck with me. Not even Paleo, though it felt promising. At the end of the day I eat what I want to eat, and usually I crave something healthy 90% of the time. Simple as that. I have learned to listen to my body and eat what it needs, all the while drowning out what society has to say. This is the best diet, I call it the Ellie-Diet. Eat what you want, when you want, just in moderation...and make sure there's green in your meal everyday.

What is your relationship with food? Any interesting experiences or fad diets?

Strange effects of sugar and processed foods

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Ugh, my gut is still getting over this last weekend. It wasn't a particularly wild weekend. In fact, it was just a casual weekend filled with sugar and junk food. How did I let it happen...I don't even know!

A few of my new years goals were to eliminate processed foods/sugars and lose 10 pounds. I was determined, and January ended up being fantastic. Not only did I eliminate processed foods and sugar, but I ate better, watched my calories, and lost 5 pounds. Hurrah! I focused on eating a lot of veggies and protein. Normally Andy and I don't eat much meat, but since it fills you up and aids in muscle gain I started to incorporate more of it into our diets. It has been fun to follow and create new recipes with meat in them. I think Andy has LOVED it! The reason we haven't eaten much meat in the past is because we are straight up lazy. Cooking meat requires more prep work and an actual recipe or goal for what the meat will become. We never thought that far ahead, therefore we didn't eat meat. I have loved planning a weekly menu and searching for new recipes with meat in them this time around though.

So anyway...January was great. I stayed on track eating healthy and reaped the benefits. I lost 5 pounds, slept great, felt great, and had plenty of energy. All the benefits of eating healthy and eliminating sugar and processed foods. Not to say that I didn't still satisfy my sweet tooth, because I did. I just made sure to do it through fruits or honey. These morning tonic's also really helped.

Then, this weekend happened. I have been wanting to make cookies so badly, and finally I did. I made French macaroons and boy oh boy are they loaded with sugar. I did well making the recipe with only teeny tiny little tastes, and I didn't even lick the bowl. When they were all finished I ate two (they are tiny, how could I only eat one?!) and something interesting happened. I had an instant headache as soon as I finished my two macaroons. It was instant, I tell you! It didn't last very long, but it sure was a headache. Later, I had another macaroon after dinner. The same thing happened! Instant headache. It was a sugar headache. My body had gotten used to not having sugar, so re-introducing it like that gave me a headache, probably meaning that my body didn't like the sugar and was freaking out on me. So interesting!

A similar thing happened with processed foods. (Think pringles, boxed mac and cheese, crackers, boxed cereal...) Soon after eating them this weekend I felt bloated. It was a gross unbutton my pants kind of bloating. Not pleasant! Especially not when paired with a sugar headache. I should have taken a clue the first time it happened, but instead I kept eating and kept feeling worse. Despite it taking a whole weekend of eating sugar and processed foods, it was good because now I know the real issues with these kinds of foods. It was easy to eat them when they were already in my diet (because my body was addicted!), but taking them out and later re-introducing them, has shown me just how bad they are. I hope this can affect my long term decisions concerning sugar and processed foods. Maybe yours too.

Skinny Fat...

This is what the Urban Dictionary says about Skinny Fat:

To look slim, even with revealing clothes, but when touched, the touching hand sinks into fat before reaching muscle. Older people will 'show' "Skinny fat" visually, but young people have firm skin that hides it until they're touched. "She looks fine, but her skinny fat ass feels like mashed potatoes." --> yes, Urban Dictionary said that.

Image via  Yep, this would be me. I would define it a little differently though. My definition: "Looking slim while in clothes, but looking very lumpy out of clothes...aka in a bathing suit or mini skirt." How does this happen, one may wonder? Well this is how it goes... You start off with skinny genes from your parents and think, oh great, I'm set in life as a skinny person. Therefore- you don't eat well or exercise. And to top it off you may just decide to start a chocolate shop which means you have to sample everything you make. All of these things (and more!) add up to skinny fat. It is frustrating because everyday you wear clothes you feel uncomfortable and just want to say "I'm so fat", but you know you can't because you look decent in your clothes and people will think you are a stupid girl for saying such things. So you wallow in self pity until one day you decide to make a change. (And when I say you, obviously I mean me, but hopefully you can relate.) Image via I have great news though, ridding yourself of skinny fat is possible! I have done it three times before and was very successful each time. It involves tedious calorie counting, discipline, and a bit of exercise (like walking, my favorite!). There are some great phone apps out there like My Fitness Pal (it's free) that can make it really easy for you. It will help you figure out your calorie deficit and then you input your calories/foods each day to stay on track. Your calorie deficit is when the amount of food energy (calories) you consume is less than the total calories you use. For example, my calorie deficit is 1200 calories a day. That is what I can eat because it is right under the amount that my body uses. By eating 1200 calories a day I will lose weight...slowly. This is not a fast thing. If I add exercise though, like walking, it helps and I will lose weight a bit faster. Eating healthy also helps. If you compare a salad to a doughnut, you'll realize that you can eat a lot more salad (which will also fill you up) to equal the same amount of calories in just a measly doughnut (which will not fill you up). Healthy foods have far fewer calories so you can eat a lot more of them. Of course, don't deny yourself the sweet treat if you absolutely need it, just realize that by eating it you are taking away calories from another meal, meaning you will eat less that day because of your indulgence. It is very simple science and it works! I have done this three other times in my life and have lost 10-15 pounds in 2-3 months each time. Once you are at your ideal weight, you have to watch what you eat to maintain that weight. It isn't any kind of crazy dieting, just eating everything in moderation within a certain calorie intake. Obviously, I haven't kept moderation in my diet, so I need to keep to a strict calorie deficit until I have lost the extra fat on my body that is making me "skinny fat". Most likely I will look the same in clothes when this is done, but out of clothes I won't look so lumpy, and I'll feel a lot better about myself. My theory is that anyone can be slim, they just need to keep to a calorie deficit which can be hard and takes discipline. Once you try it though, you'll know how easy it is. I for one, am ready to get on with it! Yep, this is me (eeks, I'm bearing it all!) with clothes on and with clothes off. Huge difference isn't it? That's skinny-fat for ya. Heels, black clothes, longer shirts, and a jacket also do wonders for covering the bulges.